it's ilovepeas bitchezzz!  lol- i am sorry, i had a lot of caffeine today and can you tell i am excited to be back to blogging?  so we've come a long way since my last post.  i don't even want to think about it, actually.  there have been ups and there have been downs and there has been mucho clowning arounds.  but i think i should start off fresh with the downs. 

*disclaimer:  This post is not directed at any one particular person.  They are the mindless ponderings of a Pea.*

It’s a Guy Thing…But Why Can't It Be a Girl Thing Too?

Guys have this undying, dutiful allegiance to each other.  They clean up each other’s messes, they rat on each other’s girlfriends, they cover for each other, get in fights for each other, and without a word spoken there is a constant unbreakable loyalty that is the foundation of every male.  This Code is the glue that bonds them together and no pussy can ever come between it.  As crass or implausible as it may seem, it is a fact, and the sooner we ladies understand this truth, the better we can begin to understand our men.

All of us have had our fair shares of DRAMArama but girls especially know how it is.  We love to gossip.  We love to talk about other people’s relationships and their lives.  We love to secretly make fun of pictures of other people and poke and prod at their flaws.  We call each other out and talk shit behind each other’s backs.  There are no subject limits to what girls talk about and discuss and bitch about and brag about.  There are no boundaries and EVERYTHING is fair game.  And the age-old question:  If guys uphold The Code, why can’t girls?

I have been ratted out, thrown under the bus, and betrayed many times in my relatively short life.  In every instance, the perpetrators were girls.  (oh, and this one time this guy did a 180 on me but he is an insecure metrosexual, the deadly combo in a man.)  These were the people I trusted and loved.  These were the people who I called my “friends”.  I took care of them when they were down, I celebrated with them when there was a joyous occasion.  We cried, we laughed, we vented, and we walked each other down this journey we called life.  And THENNNN, I was betrayed and hurt.   

The older I get, the more I realize how important my friends are.  And how my circle of friends gets smaller and smaller as the years go by--but it's ok!  i'm okay with this...I’m actually thrilled.  know why?  cuz girls are so complicated.  We bitches are crazy.  I’m not trying to degrade my gender, I’m only questioning the flimsiness of girlfriends these days.  We sell ourselves too short and everyone seems to be okay with it.  Other than my sister I can name one other girl with whom I trust with my life. (*hello Suzanne!!!*) When my sister came back from Mexico a couple months back, there was a rumor that she and her boyfriend had broken up.  They did and it was all because a girl felt the need to tell another girl her version of the trip and all hell broke loose.  It was nobody’s business but my sister's.  And an elaborate story replaced the truth.

A girlfriend is a gift.  She is a treasure.  Even in a relationship, you will tell your boyfriend everything.  It’s pillow talk.  He is a priority in your life and that is understandable.  But he's not THE priority.  Your boyfriend DOES NOT and SHOULD NOT completely replace your girlfriend(s).  If you put her on the sidelines and use her when you need her (ie. Breakup, fight, singledom), she isn’t your girlfriend.  She’s just a blip in the plethora of so-called friends you have.  A girlfriend will be honest and tell you when you fuck up.  She won’t tell you a dress looks good on you if it doesn’t just to be nice.  She’ll defend your honor no matter what the circumstances are.  She’ll give you the benefit of the doubt even if the world is against you.  She won’t ever do anything or say anything that might jeopardize your well-being.  Period.

Here are some of the classic lines used when a girlfriend outs a girlfriend:

- “I’m closer/better friends with the guy.”
- “I’ve known the guy longer.”
- “I didn’t know my boyfriend would tell your boyfriend”.
- “I tell my boyfriend everything and he swore he wouldn’t say anything.”
- “I swear I didn’t say it like that…”
- …put the blame on someone else and say, “I can’t believe he/she told!”
- “I was under pressure.”
- “ I didn’t know what else to say.”
- “I didn’t want to lie.”
- “I did what I thought was right.”

Guys innately have a Code. Once upon a time, maybe girls used to also.  But until we learn to filter out our girlfriends and to take care of the ones we already have, girlfriendships will always break apart and crumble.  And we, as a whole will always be one-upped by guys.  And THAT is not acceptable!!!

Zanne and i decided to go to ny this past weekend.  here are the pix! enjoy....

<3